Recently the Wheel of Fortune came to town on a contestant search. This was obviously part marketing and part actual purpose because thousands of people showed up to try and get on the show. I guess it's similar to getting selected for The Real World but for middle aged people who have been crushed by their actual life experiences and hope that winning a trip to the Grand Bahamas resort for figuring out a common word that is missing its vowels will restore the hope they had as children. I think it will be the comforting memory that will be replayed in their addled minds as the Alzheimer's takes over from drinking one too many fake sweetener laced diet sodas while they sat in their cubical in a grey slab office building for 25 years hoping to save enough to get the deluxe cabin on the cruise.

When an opportunity like this arises to screw with a nationally televised program, our crack team of street people agents jump into action. Alright, what really happened is we were drinking and started thinking how funny it would be to get on stage and unfurl our www.Street-People.com banner. Our odds of getting selected for the television show are pretty close to nil anyway so why not have some fun. The drunken giggles soon gave way to a hastily thought out plan that seemed incredibly brilliant at the time.

The plan: Get good looking girls to go because they are sure to get picked. We all know Pat Sajack is in the dressing rooms before the taping talking to the good looking girls telling them about when he used to have a talk show, and giving them practice puzzles such as "BL*W M*" and letting them know he will be in his dressing room if they want any clues as to how to solve the puzzle.

So we assembled our crack team: Agent Catdog, Agent S, and Agent Blondie who sobered up, or at least did not reek of booze, and went to the tryouts.

The plan was simple: carry our banner up on stage, unfurl it, get the picture, and get thrown out. I told you it was hatched under a drunken haze because it really did not work out that way. It seems this whole try out thing is one big scam. They line up thousands of people, let a few hundred into the "try out studio", pick 3 people out of the audience to play a practice game, and then empty the "try out studio" and let the next group of people in to play one game.

While you are waiting in a big ass line, they place a nice cardboard cutout of Vanna and Pat outside so you can get a picture. This obviously did not satisfy our team of agents. So they found the Wheel of Fortune tour bus. After snapping a few photos of Pat & Vanna with our banner the warm fuzzy burn of alcohol wore off and the hateful hangover personality emerged.

It seems that banging on the tour bus door with your high heel screaming "I'm gonna Sajack you" and "I'd like to solve the puzzle – Is it Alex Trebeck can kick your ass" seems to bring the police, or at least the rent-a- police.

"After a few exchanges of "yeah, we are going" our team of agents came back to the home base to report. Much of the report could just be the ramblings of three girls who got really bored while waiting in a line to see a bad rendition of Wheel of Fortune, or it all could have happened just like it was reported. I tell you one thing photos don't lie….unless they have been retouched by the computer. Just for good measure I posted this story to the Wheel of Fortune fan club message board. I don't think they'll be calling my Wheel Watcher's number anytime soon