By ZOGTONE

saint patrick's day will forever remind me of my 2005 incident. i think if anything should fall under the SPEW catagory - it is this entry. scalding hot, protein-rich and delicious spew in fact. so if you are easily repulsed...just click onward.
never...i repeat...NEVER...take a hand-me-down rival© family heirloom pressure cooker and attempt to make a lovely corned beef and cabbage dinner without replacing all the seals of this antiquated device. wanna know why? because seals loosen, things rattle, stuff spews, and food tends to eventually let loose. and guys like me try to move this angry appliance outdoors. then painful pandemonium insues...and right in one's face. not to mention the kitchen ceiling, fridge, cabinets etc etc.
this was on a friday night, i was alone and found aid in my plentiful aloe plants and my old girlfriend's 800mg vicodins that she stupidly left in my bathroom from her insane liposuction. i miss her...drugs.
i got scared and broke down, visited the doc on monday and was severely scolded by the entire staff. and yet they actually credited me on my aloe vera decision...never do the butter thing for god sakes!!! they poked and prodded at me and prescribed more vikes and some antibiotics.
well...i looked pretty much like some guy named buford who got the shit beat out of him at some local texas dive on a saturday night, but i managed to heal just fine. if you would call my face "fine". i think of it as my freebie chemical peel. it took about a month.
so here's a little painful timeline that i was clever enough to take by myself.
and about the old rival antiquated rival© pressure cooker? it's now a stunning birdbath. and today i decided to take my time...i used a crock pot for my corned beef and cabbage. i try to avoid pressure these days...