MOSS EGAN

Moss Egan was born just off of Melrose during the fourth installment of Berlin Alexanderplatz on Bravo in 1982. Raised on a steady diet of Pinks Hot Dogs and Lina Wertmuller, he accepted a full scholarship to Parsons School Of Design after hacking into it's server. Caught and sentenced, he stayed alive on Rikers Island by drawing cartoons of the guards in compromising situations of a sexual nature. Based on the subsequent New Yorker article, Ted Hope immediately bought the rights, but under pressure from a rival company who had their own "cartoonist in prison" story, Hope withdrew his offer and spread rumors that Moss was a Republican. Upon his release, Moss confronted Hope, who muttered that he was sorry but "the big man" had got to him. Incensed, Moss decided to devote his life to exposing the out of control autofellatio epidemic spreading like a wildfire through the hills of Hollywood and other stimulating stories that seemingly appeared out of nowhere on the tracking boards.